Lessons: Grief Marks the Soul in Enduring Ways

person in grief

I wish I hadn’t learned this lesson. I wish I hadn’t seen the grief that writes its name on the soul and leaves it there. I have learned of the exquisite pain of loss of a loved one. I can’t say I’ve experienced it, or even that I can understand a fraction of the pain it causes. But I see how it marks an individual and how it shapes their every action afterward – it becomes a self-defining moment.

There is no silver lining for some events. There is no understandable reason or explanation for some things. There is no turning back – only moving forward into grief and loss. I’ve watched you fight to understand what can’t be. I’ve watched you struggle with the meaning for these losses, whether they are parents, brothers and sisters, or children. Divorce and the end of relationships cause a different, but no less affecting grief.

I knew that grief could mark the body, causing pain, discomfort and restrictions. But I didn’t understand how it shaped the soul and how it could redefine the way you see yourself and the world. A person isn’t the entirety of the losses they have sustained, but that loss shapes them in a fundamental way.

This is one lesson I wish I hadn’t learned, simply for the pain it’s caused. But it’s one I’m honored to begin to understand and one that I know massage and therapeutic touch can help heal.

Photo credit: flickr.com CCL user: fallingwater123

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